Unlikely is Bound to Happen

Before I believe that I'm kind of person who always do things routinely. I can foresee my reactions towards certain events. I'm not so accustomed in experiencing highly unlikely events. I think those events are unthinkable for me. But I proved that my reaction is as crazy as my mood swings.

I saw him again last month. I barely remember when but I'm sure it's almost end of February. I don't really want to blog about this because I don't feel the need or any sparks.The event of seeing him again did not really bothered me. What bothered me is my reactions toward that certain event.

The feeling is unusual fro me. It is not what I usually feel whenever I would have the great chance of seeing him. I felt nothing. I just look and I almost turn away. After seeing him that when I realize that what I did is completely extraordinary. It took me minutes to process in my head that I don't mind seeing him.

I thought of him time to time. There are so many things that made me remember him. Sometimes when I think of him it's like thinking of a stranger who passed by without me minding him.

It's funny and confusing. My feelings are all jumbled up. The thought of seeing him before excites me and makes me all giddy inside. I felt every emotions there is in this planet. I'm so accustomed of bothering and feeling something about it. And now that I don't bothered at all I don't think I'm still me.

I know that this is the moment I've waited for. I also know that this is the start of new beginning. This is the moment that I could finally erase every trace of feelings I have for him and dumped it all in the unknown. But I don't know if where my feelings are going is where I want it to be.

Funny thought

I find it funny whenever a friend of mine will talk about love. It's like they are trying to make it sound as if our lives depended in it.

I don't hate them or despise their so-called "love life". But sometimes it is so over-board that I think what they are telling me are nothing but nonsense. They keep on ranting about their petty love but they do nothing to it. There is nothing wrong with loving and being loved but life is still short. We are just starting our life at this point. There is so many things to learn and to experience. If all they do is rant about their loves what would happen to our future.

Crushes, infatuations, puppy loves, first love, whatever they want to call it, is just a part of our life. It is significant but not SO significant for us to dwell on it ever single damn day of our life. They are meant to inspire us not to dampen our spirits. I pity those people who cannot separate love problems from serious matters.Come on. You don't want to say to your parents that the reason you are flunking your exams is because of a relationship which did not work.

I have couple of crushes myself. I just don't claim them (as what others do) as love. I don't think I found him yet. maybe years from now I will look back and say I did or maybe affirm myself for saying that I don't.

I believe that everything has the right moment. And I , too, believe that love is still not meant for me at this point. I have so many dreams and envisions to fulfill. So I think we all have to wait for the right moment to take a great step and let ourselves succumb by the power of love.

I'm still Alive

It has been forever since I last write in this blog!

What can I say? So many things happened from the last Academy days to the much-awaited collage entrance results. It seems like everything is going in its full speed.

I'm going to share events that I still remember for the past months.

Academy Days
It's fun and very tiring at the same time. I enjoyed our dedication booth a lot. During the field demo I dropped the ball (as in tumalbog pa). Thank goodness it did not bounced so far! I saved my self from the embarrassment. Aside from that it is all about bonding and enjoying our last Academy days. Wee took a lot of stolen pictures. As in stolen 'coz we are not allowed to bring camera. Needless to know, we all brought our gadgets. How can they blame us?! We are accustomed in bringing gadgets during Academy days and it is our last. Btw I was actually caught by a first year teacher (he pointed at me). Aside from that no harm done.

Christmas
It is the only time got to bind with my relatives. I did not receive so many gifts because of global crisis (my relatives say so). But I'm still happy because I got to have a chance to be with them before I started my college years. Christmas is the only time I felt I'm a kid and will always be a kid at heart. How I wish it will stay the same every year to come.

New year
2008 had been a rough year for me especially my family. I experienced things I didn't thought I would ever experience. So for the first time I'm glad that the year had already ended. Everything now is new. I waved good bye 2008 together with all the pains and hurts I had. Now I'm just looking forward to a brand new year. I'm going to graduate in high school and go to college this year. I guess this year would be different from last year. I hope it would be better if not best. But I'm still glad I experienced 2008. It thought me to be stronger and to still stand up and continue to live for the better tomorrow ahead.

Entrance Exam results
These broke my heart into fine pieces. I did not passed U.P. and Ateneo. I prepared myself to U.P.'s results but I'm not prepared to Ateneo. Ateneo is my dream school. Even if I would not study there, I still wanted to at least passed the ACET. But now after more than a month I have accepted that ACET is not for me. Almost all my choices were honors course because I want to take up pre-med courses (kailangan upper 15 % of ACET passers). I realized that what I wanted to achieve I a far away dream for me. I passed UST naman. Although it is not (as what other people like would point out) as great as Ateneo or UP, it is proven that medicine is one of the strengths of UST. My parents already approve my college of choice (as if my choice pa ako!). Now I guess after four months I'll be a full-pledge and proud THOMASIAN!

Btw my course is pharmacy. It's my first choice and my second choice is Medtech (I'm wait-listed).

Message for someone
I am truly happy for you. May you find your true happiness with that someone. As I see your smile, I realized that now you find something you would cherish for a long time. I hope it would not end. You said it is forever. I hope it would be. I believe that your forever has the chance to endure time. Just please be that way. Don't frown anymore. You found the person you searched for. i hope for the best for you. Continue to smile and I'll smile with you...