A Dream Miles Away

October 26, 2008 at exactly 2:48 p.m. in the afternoon...

I'm not in the mood for anything at that time. All I wanted is just to go home, review for some of my subjects for the test tomorrow and sleep. But as I turned around, I saw in the corner of my right eye, a familiar face passing by my side. I hold my breath for a second or (maybe...) two. There he is, walking ahead of me, looking straight forward and not even minding me. I'm there looking at his back, wishing the world will stop and preserve that very moment. I wanted to call out his name maybe even say hi or hello. But a STRONG FORCE STOP ME from whatever I'm planning to do. It brings back the memories of the past which halted my body and spirit from committing the mistake I'm about to do. Then after a couple of seconds, the event started to sink in... He maybe physically close but would still forever be a far away DREAM.

I saw him up close for the first time since (I don't know) a century ago. Never would I imagine I'll see him there at that very moment. Honestly I'm not prepared. All I did at that time is just look at him and try to make sure he is the one who just passed by. It's as if my world stop to turn and all I could think is he is there. My mom tried to tell me there is a tricycle passing by but all I did was just look at his retreating back.

Even after we rode the tricycle I still glance at him. I crane my head to have a better look at him. He was wearing a pink tee and faded jeans. He looks so thin as if he is not eating enough. It's been a long time since I saw him close by. I'm caught off-guard. I'm really expecting to see him once in a while. I know he does live around the area. But to see him just like that is another thing for me.

I tried to be ready but when I saw him yesterday all my plans were put to waste. I don't know if he saw me because I have my back on him. Though he saw me I doubt if he would remember me. But if he recognizes me surely he would not even bother to say hi to me. Because for him we are nothing more than the word STRANGERS and I have to live with that.

Up until now I still can't get over that fact. In my heart I wanted him to even look me in the eyes and not just passed by me. It hurts to look at his back and not be able to do anything.

He is my crush for almost a millennium now. I know he already have so many girlfriends. I also knew he broke his heart for a couple of times. I'm like HIS stalker. But I can't help it. I regretted so many things I've done in the past which hinder us from being friends. Well it is already a history now. All I could do is hope for the future.

We are strangers I guess I'm okay with that now. I chased him for seems like a million years already. I always look at his back retreating away from me every time. So I learned to give up and let go. I learned to put aside my fantasy from the reality.

He is a MILLION MILES AWAY from ME, A forever DREAM that can NEVER be REAL. He is always CLOSE YET in a FAR away land.

But from time to time I still have high hopes in the bottom of my heart that maybe just maybe I can somehow LESSEN the DISTANCE between the two of US and eventually BE FRIENDS.